FOR OPTIMUM PERFORMANCE
FORGET YOURSELF
It’s funny how we can be our own worst playing partners. We’ve all been there—standing on the tee box or the court, and suddenly it feels like there’s a second person in our heads taking notes, grading our form, and ready to deliver a harsh performance review the second something goes slightly off-track.
We’ve all done it. We’re out on the course or the court, or at the about to speak at a public forum and instead of just performing, we start "watching" our performance . We’ve spent years honing our skills, but the moment the stakes feel high, we stop being performers and start being observers and judges. And what do we tell ourselves is the point of observing and judging….to “fix” the problem and “try” to perform better.
The irony is harder we "try" to fix it, the louder that inner critic gets. It’s a paradox we’ve all felt: the more we obsess over our performance, the more our natural flow seems to be impaired.
The problem is that "trying" to do better often backfires. The more we focus on our grip, our stance, or our swing path in the middle of a game, the more we create a kind of "mental lag." Our bodies know what to do, but our inner narrator won't stop giving unsolicited advice.
Nike says “Just do it”. What you hear athletes in the NCAA basketball tournament say is: “Trust your training”. The time to be a perfectionist, to try to improve, is when you practice. Then trust your training. When you make a mistake during a performance of any kind, tell yourself that you will fix it when you practice next. During the performance is not the time to change your performance. What you can do, however, is a mental reset. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself to get your head (your focus) in the game and stop watching and evaluating.
The very act of watching is an indication of a failure in trust. Notice your failure to trust. Stop watching, trust yourself, make up for your mistakes at your next practice. Let it go until later.
Oh, and be certain that you WILL make mistakes…so just forget about trying not to. The one thing you are certain to fail at is being perfect.
The "Watcher" Effect
When we start watching ourselves, we essentially split our focus in two. There is the part of us that actually performs and the part of us that sits in the gallery and criticizes. This "self-watching" tends to trip us up in a few predictable ways:
• The Tightness Trap: The second we start thinking about how to move, we lose our fluidity. We’ve all felt that micro-tension that turns a smooth stroke into a jerky one.
• The Over-Correction: When we judge a mistake as a "failure" rather than just a data point, we tend to over-steer on the next shot. We’re reacting to our frustration, not the actual ball.
• The Joy Gap: This is the most frustrating part. We often notice that the players who don’t care about their score are having a blast while the better players are miserable. Why? Because they’re immersed in the play instead of being busy managing a scorecard.
Think about the last time you ran down a flight of stairs. You didn’t watch your feet to make sure you did the right thing . You just moved. Your body performed a very complex task without thinking about I. Now, imagine trying to do that while staring intently at your feet. What happens? We stumble. The moment we start "watching" ourselves, we create a fatal time lag. Our analytical brain is much slower than our physical intuition. By the time our conscious mind has "approved" the movement, our body is already out of sync with the rhythm.
Getting Back into the Flow
The secret we’re all trying to master isn't "trying harder"—it’s learning to trust the your yourself.
Trust the Training: Just like you trust your legs on the staircase, we have to trust the thousands of swings and shots and rehearsals we’ve already practiced.
Look Ahead, Not Down: When you run downstairs, you look at the landing, not your laces. During performance focus on your objective or purpose, giving your "inner judge" a view of the destination rather than a critique of the mechanics.
Shift Focus
Since we can’t just tell our brains to "stop thinking" (because that takes even more thinking), you could find few ways to give that inner judge a different job to do. The goal isn't to "fix" ourselves, but to move our attention to things that don't cause tension.
Focus "Out" instead of "In"
Instead of monitoring what our elbows or knees are doing, we can try to get lost in the external world. This is the old trick of imagining your audience in their underwear. . When our awareness is "out there," that inner critic has less room to operate "in here."
Look Up
Simply looking up for 15 seconds can be an instant mood changer. (Saying a little prayer while looking up couldn’t hurt. Better than cursing yourself, which we all do.)
The Rhythm Trick
Our analytical minds love to count. We can give them a harmless job by using a simple "1-2" rhythm. "One" for the start of the motion, and "Two" for the finish. You could also just hum a tune in your head. It’s just enough of a task to keep the judge busy, leaving our muscles free to do what they already know how to do.
Just "Noticing"
We’re all going to be imperfect—it’s part of the being human. The trick we’re learning is to move from judging to noticing. Instead of saying "I’m playing like a disaster today," we can try saying "Oops ." One feels like a heavy weight; the other is just a an acceptance of an imperfect moment in a life full of moments. If you’re calling yourself names you wouldn’t allow others to call you, just be aware that part of you is listening to what you say to yourself. If you want better performance, don’t be an abusive coach.
