True happiness is not attained through self-gratification,
But through fidelity to a worthy purpose
Helen Keller
WHAT’S YOUR PURPOSE?
I.
DEFINITION
The title above is intentionally misleading and intentionally a bit scary. You can read those words as asking the question: “What is the purpose of having you in this world?” It’s a good question and one that could shake you to the core if you think about it too much. “What’s the point of it all?” the existentialists asked; and they all became quite depressed trying to figure it out. In this article, we’ll focus on a slightly smaller version of that question but, if you can gain some answers to these smaller questions, you just may, in the end, understand the answer to the much larger question.
Having purpose, along with connection, activity, and diet, is one of the 4 main factors contributing to personal wellness and longevity. The negative consequences to being without purpose are significant. Purpose refers to having a sense of direction and meaning that underlies your decisions and actions. Your purpose is tied to your values, beliefs, and passions. It is the answer to WHY you do what you do in your society, your relationships, your career, and your personal growth. So, rather than trying to define the one big over-arching purpose to your entire life, you might better ask: “What is my purposes in this moment, for this week, for this year?” As you lie in bed in the morning, before jumping into a “to do” list or an automated routine for the day, give some thought to what would make your day more purposeful and meaningful.
The word purpose is often confused with the word “function”. What is the “purpose” of this machine is often answered by describing its function. As you think about your purpose do not confuse it with your functions. Going to the grocery store is not a purpose, it is a function. Your purposes for going to the store can be many and varied. The same is true for many things that you do from playing golf to serving on committees to calling your grandchildren. If you hear yourself saying “I should” or “I have to”, it’s likely you are talking about a function you have created for yourself. As machines perform their functions, the meaningfulness of what they are doing is irrelevant. For human beings, purpose is the meaning behind the function. What having a purpose does is make you less like a machine and more like a human being and, based on the latest research, unsurprisingly, contributes to your health and longevity.
II
A LIFE WITHOUT PURPOSE
Living without purpose can be a disorienting and challenging experience. Here are some of the feelings associated with a lack of purpose:
1. Aimlessness and Confusion: Without a clear purpose, life can feel directionless. You might struggle to make decisions or set goals, leading to a sense of drifting without any clear destination.
2. Lack of Motivation: A purpose often drives motivation. Without it, everyday tasks and long-term goals may feel pointless or tedious, making it difficult to find the energy to pursue anything with enthusiasm.
3. Emotional Numbness: People without purpose may experience a sense of emotional numbness or apathy. Activities that once brought joy or satisfaction might lose their appeal, leading to a feeling of emptiness.
4. Anxiety and Restlessness: The absence of purpose can create a low-level, persistent anxiety. You may feel restless, as though something is missing, but be unsure of what that something is or how to find it.
5. Low Self-Esteem and Doubt: You might question your value or worth, especially if you feel that your life lacks meaning or direction.
6. Isolation and Loneliness: Purpose often connects people with others who share similar values or goals. Without it, you may feel disconnected or isolated, lacking a sense of belonging or community.
7. Depression and Hopelessness: A prolonged lack of purpose can lead to more serious emotional distress, such as depression. You might feel hopeless, as though there's no point in trying or that your efforts are in vain.
8. Difficulty Finding Fulfillment: Achievements or successes might feel hollow or unfulfilling if they aren't connected to a deeper purpose. Without purpose, it can be hard to derive satisfaction from your accomplishments.
9. Inability to Cope with Adversity: Purpose often gives people the strength to endure challenges and setbacks. Without it, difficulties can feel overwhelming because there's no reason to push through them.
10: Search for External Validation: In the absence of internal purpose, you might rely more heavily on external validation to feel good about yourself. This can lead to a cycle of seeking approval from others rather than finding fulfillment from within.
11: Longing for Meaning: Many people without purpose experience a deep longing for meaning in their lives. This desire can be frustrating and painful, especially if you feel stuck or unsure of how to find it. This is a very difficult feeling to identify and is often simply described as “feeling empty. It is often confused with depression and physicians may unnecessarily prescribe antidepressants.
III
A LIFE WITH PURPOSE
Here are some of the benefits of having a purpose for your actions:
1. Provides clarity in decision-making, helping prioritize actions that align with long-term goals. It narrows down distractions and keeps you focused on what truly matters.
2. Fuels motivation, giving you the energy and determination to pursue goals, even in the face of challenges.
3. Strengthens resilience by giving meaning to struggles and setbacks. When you understand why you are enduring something difficult, you're more likely to persevere.
4. Often leads to a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Achieving goals tied to a deeper meaning can be more rewarding than superficial successes.
5. Research suggests that having a purpose is associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression. It can provide a sense of stability and reduce feelings of aimlessness or despair.
6. Can deepen relationships by aligning you with people who share similar values and goals. It fosters connection and a sense of community.
7. Studies indicate that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer and experience better physical health. Purposeful living is linked to healthier lifestyles and lower risks of chronic diseases.
IV
HOW DO I FIND PURPOSE
Discovering one’s purpose is a deeply personal journey that often involves self-reflection, exploration, and growth. Here are some steps that can help in uncovering your purpose(s):
1. Reflect on Your Passions and Interests: Consider what activities or topics excite you. What questions keep popping into your head? What are you most curious about?
2. Examine Your Values: Identify the core values that guide your decisions and behavior. What principles do you hold dear? Purpose reflects what you stand for and wish to contribute to the world.
3. Consider Your Life Experiences: Reflect on significant life events, challenges, and successes. How have these shaped you? Sometimes, purpose is found in overcoming adversity or in lessons learned from pivotal experiences.
4. Think About the Impact You Want to Have: Consider how you want to contribute to the lives of others or to society.
5. Spend Time in Solitude: Engage in regular self-reflection through practices like journaling, meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature. Quieting the noise of everyday life can help you tune into your inner voice and better understand what truly matters to you.
6. Look for Patterns: Pay attention to recurring themes in your thoughts, interests, and activities. These patterns can provide clues to your purpose, especially if they’ve persisted over time.
7. Align Purpose with Action: Once you have a sense of what your purpose might be, start aligning your actions with it. Take small steps toward living in accordance with your purpose and adjust as you go.
Discovering your purpose is not a one-time event but a continuous process of exploration and alignment. It's about finding what gives your life meaning and pursuing it with intention.
The two most important days in life
Are the day you were born
And the day you find out why
Mark Twain
